Night Time Nursing: A Journey and Revelation
Posted by Corryn Barakat on Feb 12, 2016
Night time nursing is such a strange thing. I spent the first 6 months with my firstborn, obsessing over sleep (or lack of sleep to be more precise!). I googled normal sleeping patterns for babies, and was alternately convinced that everything was normal, or I was creating a rod for my own back.
I tried white noise, I tried giving up caffeine, then dairy. I tried blockout curtains and tried creating a routine. I bought a bassinet, then I tried an Amby Hammock, then a side car cot. In the end I gave up and started co-sleeping just so we could all get some more sleep. I was at a point where I didn't feel safe to drive anywhere because I was so sleep deprived I couldn't see straight.
I read somewhere that I should just put him down when he was sleepy but not asleep, but I couldn't even get him asleep in the first place without a lengthy battle. I felt like a failure as a mum. He cried, I cried. We were all on the edge. I documented every time he woke up and what happened, how long he slept for and more. I just couldn't get it right!
At 6 months two things happened. Firstly, I decided that motherhood was just really hard and I shouldn't take it so personally. I wasn't a failure, this was just life. Secondly, I read a book, Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" and recognised that there was a wide variety of 'normal' with sleep and babies. I also started taking day time naps more seriously (as in, baby wearing in a dark room for hours on end just to help him get past his first sleep cycle), which also helped his night time sleep somewhat.
In the end he started sleeping all night long, in his own bed, when he was 5 years old. And that is normal.
My second little boy is now 2.5 years old, and although he is very different to his older brother he still wakes up anywhere from 1 to 3 times a night (more if he's sick), wanting to breastfeed. The difference this time is that I just view it as normal. It's not a hassle.
I have blockout curtains to keep out the street lights, I don't have any clocks in the bedroom (because I don't want to know what the time is, or how many times I've woken up), and I have NEVER written down how long he slept for or when he went to sleep. It just isn't an issue. And so, because I'm not obsessed about it, it doesn't bother me as much. Some days I'm quite tired, other days I'm not.
But now, I'm looking at night weaning again. It's time for me to have some more space to myself. We've set up a new bedroom and he's very excited about having his own room and his own bed. We sometimes do nap time in there. We're slowly getting used to the idea - this morning he hopped out of my bed at 5am and went into his room to sleep with his toys. Next I'll start reading him a book about night time being for sleep, and not for breastfeeding, and we'll talk about him sleeping in his room and coming quietly into our room if he wants snuggles. It will be a slow process but one that we're both ready for.
What have your night time nursing experiences been like? Please do share in the comments :)
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How Does Your Newborn Sleep? Changing Perceptions to Change Your Life.